Fluck. Here I am again on a Friday evening scrambling to get my Linear Systems homework in. It was assigned several days ago and I just seriously started attacking it this morning. Yes, I work often and take a heavy academic load. It is hard to find time to finish what needs to get done, or at least that is what I keep telling myself. I am physically tired but also mentally tired of my own excuses. What happened to that young man who, in his first years of school, would finish projects weeks before they were due, turn in homework the day it was assigned, and completely dominate tests without studying? Where is he when I need him? Why did he leave in the first place? He was a great student, man. He was efficient with time and didn’t put off to the next day what he could get done that day. He was a rising leader who effectively juggled multiple responsibilities. He had it all figured out: he was going to go to Harvard and become world-class at whatever he decided to do.
Somewhere along the way, I must have picked up a bug. It has completely hijacked the systems my younger self had created in order to be successful. I am disgusted with the bug’s winning streak and the resulting symptoms. I have been sick in bed for years, letting this cancer consume me, but now I am ready to become a serious contender in this war between my current nature and my ideal.