Systemic Disease

Fluck. Here I am again on a Friday evening scrambling to get my Linear Systems homework in. It was assigned several days ago and I just seriously started attacking it this morning. Yes, I work often and take a heavy academic load. It is hard to find time to finish what needs to get done, or at least that is what I keep telling myself. I am physically tired but also mentally tired of my own excuses. What happened to that young man who, in his first years of school, would finish projects weeks before they were due, turn in homework the day it was assigned, and completely dominate tests without studying? Where is he when I need him? Why did he leave in the first place? He was a great student, man. He was efficient with time and didn’t put off to the next day what he could get done that day. He was a rising leader who effectively juggled multiple responsibilities. He had it all figured out: he was going to go to Harvard and become world-class at whatever he decided to do.

Somewhere along the way, I must have picked up a bug. It has completely hijacked the systems my younger self had created in order to be successful. I am disgusted with the bug’s winning streak and the resulting symptoms. I have been sick in bed for years, letting this cancer consume me, but now I am ready to become a serious contender in this war between my current nature and my ideal.


7 thoughts on “Systemic Disease

  1. Great post, I enjoyed it and it made me laugh. I feel the same way, where was the old me that could ace tests without even looking at a book. I believe my “virus” started when I was in high school and was told that summer reading was mandatory. I hated reading and couldn’t comprehend most of what I was reading. I would have to read multiple times to be able to know what the author was talking about. After that I started using websites like sparknotes, and shmoop. That was also the time where I received my first C. It’s hard to go back to being a hard worker when you’ve been shown the lazy side. However, when I began to see my grades drop I studied harder. I ended up with a 3.84GPA when I graduated high school. I hope you and I both revert back to our younger selves and start getting assignments done when they are due. Good luck.


  2. I can relate to this post. For me, it was easy As in high school without studying until college. But once I entered college, I was so motivated. I would spend my nights in the library until 2am studying, and I wasn’t going to leave until I did everything I planned to do. I was always confident in myself and how well I knew the material a whole week prior to an exam date- that was my personal deadline. Not sure where that girl went either. She definitely took a hiatus my second semester of freshman year until last Fall. I’m trying to get back into that routine now though. These blogs are actually really helping me identify my issues.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Dude…..this is the realist post ever composed by human hands. The moment I began reading it I laughed and as I continue I’m thinking to myself “Preaching to the choir my good man !!!”. And I can empathize with you, sometimes I do be slagging on my homework it’s weird….I know it’s important but I’m just not in a rush to do it. So trust me, I understand the struggle my friend. But I think we’ll get our shit together and we are going to be all right.


  4. I relate to this on a spiritual level. I’m literally scrambling right now on a friday night. What happened was we became bored with what we were learning about at one point and then started to do more enjoyable things like have social lives and play video games. Well that’s referencing me at least. I don’t know if that’s why anyone else doesn’t have thier life together right now.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I definitely understand you on this one. Although that was me in high school. There I could finish all my homework early and never worry about it. At college different story. I always push everything off until the last minute because of so many distractions. Rugby , video games , partying , city life , hobbies all tear away at the time I should be spending on my homework. Hopefully I can figure it out before I have a real job.


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